Certain Loves have to be said out loud!
by Sha Yurigami
Summary: Sometimes to trust the one you love means to get hurt in return, sometimes that means feeling the pain of your beloved or simply bearing the loneliness that is eating away at your heart once they aren't with you for a while...However some love's can only be expressed when both lovers embrace a side of themselves that they rejected to full love each other.(Pre-established KaorIndex)


She held me chose like usual, holding me once the pleasure we felt settled. I could still feel my ... moistness trickling down my tights, though her leg was still between them.

"Did you feel good?" she asked me kissing my forehead, cheek, my nose and when she was in front of my lips she halted "What's wrong?" she asked her hand caressing my back.

"You did everything...I wanted to make you feel good too" I whispered tightening my arms around her neck kissing her lips while I was at it and continued with my mouth still touching hers "It's not fair that you do everything when we make love."

She laughed at my pout and closed my mouth with a deep kiss - tongue included - that stole my breath and probably any protest she might have had.

"I" she began her hands caressing my back until they reached my butt and massaged it softly, I didn't want to admit it but I love the way she makes love to me "I love you so much" she said. Always telling me that she loved me, even when we make love, or go under the shower together.

Her mouth was caressing my neck while one of her hands parted my buttocks, touched the area of my a-anus and inserted a finger into it "Kaori" I whispered, moaned holding onto her head as she began to devour me. licking the bubbling sweat off my skin while her fingers started to gently stir the inside of my backdoor. Her other hand began to travel upwards taking hold of my negligible chest, her own impressive mounts pressed following suit and pressed into my skin.

I felt like melting, when she slowly began to make me come, shamelessly lifting my leg to grant her better access, my back arched when her mouth found my nipple and entered me more deeply.

Gasping for air my arms instantly tightened around her head when a powerful orgasm overcame me.

"hah ...hah" I was panting heavily, feeling fatigue catch up to me. I got hold of whatever she gave me and kissed it passionately - which happened to be her head and therefore got her lips - hand embraced my beloved Kaori with as much love as she had given me.

"Did you feel good?" Kaori asked kissing me over and over, though her finger was still inside my butt but she retreated it slowly so that she wouldn't hurt me. Nodding I kissed her and gave her my answer in form of a deep kiss. She giggled into my mouth said I was adorable and kissed me just as fiercely back.

I was still frustrated from earlier since I wanted to make her go 'Aah' too but my disappointment was quickly replaced with a feeling of drowsiness and I fell asleep. My dreams however were filled with thoughts and desires I didn't know I possessed... _It's just that I love Kaori so much_...

... ... ...

The next day I went back to Touma's apartment. He didn't say anything when I returned but I guess that he was smirking so I punched him. he landed on his back ten feet from his original position - I'm pretty proud of myself that I have more physical strength than Touma thought I'm also quite sure that most people would never believe me -

"What did I do to deserve this treatment" he groaned but I didn't want to hear anything of it. There were more important things than his supposed misfortune.

"Touma" he looked up at me "How, well, do you know" I hesitated, would he laugh at me when I told him? Would he think of me as a pervert?

"Okay, out with it. Something is bothering you and I know that you want to talk about it with someone, trust me I want laugh" he said in his usual reassuring voice, I knew that he wouldn't judge me then.

I told him about it, how Kaori always takes the reigns when we make love and that I wanted to "I want to dominate her...I want to give her the same pleasure she gives me and I want to give her the same amount of love she gives me every moment we are together...but I don't know how." fidgeting with the hem of my habit I nervously awaited the criticism of my best friend.

It never came.

"Couldn't it just be that Kanzaki is just afraid? I mean it was her who confessed to you and she pretty much expected you to reject, didn't she?" he began, gently stroking the back of my hand on the table "I think she's just a little uncomfortable with the idea of being topped by you...at least I can relate that a little, since Thor pulled the same trick on me." he began and I seriously had to consider his words, maybe I didn't give Kaori enough of my love, maybe I was just not enough for her - I mean look at her(!), she's got the body of a goddess (!) with a gentle and caring attitude and -

"Wait! Did you say dominate?!

Touma suddenly interrupted my thoughts.

"Y-yes?" I answered him hesitantly, I'm not sure if the look in his eyes should scare me or make me want to run away as quickly as possible.

He suddenly pulled out his phone and began to dial a number "Biri-Biri! Get me Shirai...I...lost the bet" my eye twitched at his statement pushing once more since I was confused and slightly disturbed that my friends had bets running on me - as I could guess from the damn context(!) - but I also wondered what they had been betting on.

"Ho-Hold it, Index" s´he said as I began to pound his head over and over "I, can explain!"

I sat myself on the other side of the table again intent to listen to his probably miserable explanation. He sat up, picked up his phone to mutter that Shirai-san should bring a certain item to is apartment, before he faced me with a serious face.

"Index, you have awakened to a side of yourself you weren't aware of" Okay the tone of his voice was scaring me but I still listened to what he was about to tell me "Did you think of throwing her onto the ground and make her lick your feet?"

I punched him.

It was true -it was in my dream last night, that and many other things- but her had no right to blur something like that out of his mouth!

"Okay, I get it, I won't say anymore about what fetishes you might have, but with that reaction I take it that you had thought about it, right?"

A heavy blush covered my face, but I didn't say anything to him, just a slight nod.

He looked at me amused "Index, you're about to become a domina."

I pushed him once more, this time he lost consciousness for sure. But it didn't satisfy me, since I was slowly becoming aware that I - indeed - had these impure feelings

_What am I going to do...?_

… … …

_**Certain Loves have to be said out loud!**_

_**By**_

_**Sha Yurigami**_

_... ..._

_This story was born out of pure boredom and my newest strange desire of smut...I mean SM? From me?! Well I hope I haven't offended anyone with writing this story but even if I did, I will not back down from it, it is after all a product of my imagination (by the way: Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Only the Plot!) and I'm proud of it!_

_If you are asking why I choose this theme (SM), it's because lately I've been reading the story Sunstone from Shiniez on deviant art and got myself a little educated in the subject - strangely enough I couldn't take my eyes of it - and I found that I'd like to explore SM with the two character you would least expect it of (Index and Kaori) because well SM is all about trust, the sub trusts the dom while handing over their body (or something, I'm not the expert in these things but I try my best) and I felt like they needed to have something that built up such trust._

_Sex is something strange I daresay! _

_But before I forget it: Index, well, there is a really good reason why Index can't have sex the conventional way but that I want to explain inside the story._

_I hope the fandom can forgive me and If I get any feedback at all I will continue this story pretty soon._

_Until next time!_

_Yours dear_

_Sha Yurigami_


End file.
